A memoir. Unfortunately, all true enough to write down.

My name is Dane Dan.

The embarrassing stories always seemed to happen to the wrong name. Ketchup. Bad introductions. A hockey career that ended before it started. A bike my dad would probably describe as stolen. Eventually I stopped correcting people and started collecting the stories.

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Funny memoirReal storiesOne repeatedly wrong name

HELLO.
MY NAME IS DANE.

If something went wrong, someone called me Dan.

HELLO

my name is

DAN

The premise

One missing letter followed me for years.

At first, being called Dan bothered me. Then I started noticing the timing: the wrong name had a habit of showing up during the exact moments I would rather forget.

Eventually I stopped fighting it. I leaned into it. The embarrassing moments became stories, and the stories became a way of seeing how confidence, choices, boundaries and direction changed over time.

“I got used to it. Then I leaned into it. Then somehow—it became part of the story.”

Choose your disaster

A highlight reel I probably should have kept private.

Every chapter starts with a situation that seems manageable. That confidence rarely survives the page.

The Mall Girl

“We could have a lot of fun together.”

I finally worked up the nerve to walk over. Then I chose that sentence.

Instant buzz kill.

The Hockey Career

Zero games. One fall.

I decided to play hockey. Before I ever made it to the ice, I fell off a bunk bed.

Career over.

The Teeth

One comment. Years of replay.

Two girls walked up at a party, pointed at my teeth, and said the quiet part out loud.

So I got braces.

Hey, That's My Bike

The website worked.

I needed inventory for my first marketplace, so I sold a bike for $40. The problem: it was my dad's.

100% profit. Questionable ownership.

Good idea. Bad execution.
Still moving forward. That became a pattern.

What the book is really about

The joke is Dan.
The story is Dane.

The funny moments are the hook. Underneath them is a story about learning to stop replaying everything, recognize patterns, choose better situations and finally move with direction.

Confidence

At first, every awkward moment felt permanent. One bad line, one bad reaction, one bad night could live in my head far longer than it deserved.

Control

The shift started when I realized I could choose where I went, who I trusted and what situations I stayed in instead of simply reacting to whatever happened.

Direction

The final lesson wasn't becoming perfectly confident. It was direction: making choices intentionally and letting the embarrassing version of me become part of the story instead of running the story.

The Ketchup Incident at Culver's

Mom told me the name Dane was a strong name. Back then, it just felt like a name nobody got right.

I was probably around ten or eleven. My brother was already seated at the table, and I was on a simple mission: grab ketchup and come back like a normal person.

I filled one of those little paper cups way too full. I had the ketchup. I had a clear path back to the table.

What could go wrong?

My brother stuck out his foot. I tripped. The ketchup went straight into the back of a stranger's shirt.

Then, from across the restaurant, my brother yelled:

“Nice one, Dan!”

Dan.
Of course.

That was the beginning: the wrong name showing up at exactly the worst possible time.

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The cleanest decision in the book

Buy it before someone calls me the wrong name again.

Dan's Embarrassing Moments: A Lifetime of Being Called the Wrong Name is the story of bad timing, questionable decisions, bruised confidence and finally learning to own all of it.

Frequently misnamed questions

Before you ask.

Is your name actually Dan?

No. It's Dane. That's more or less how we ended up here.

Is this just a collection of embarrassing stories?

The embarrassing moments are the thread, but the memoir follows the bigger pattern underneath them: confidence, bad decisions, the people I chose, learning boundaries and eventually finding direction.

Did you really sell your dad's bike?

The marketplace needed its first listing. The site worked. My dad's interpretation of the transaction was less enthusiastic.

Does Dan ever disappear?

No. That's kind of the point. By the end, I stopped trying to erase that version of myself and learned to use it.